A life-saving guide to how cats plot to kill their people. Those dead animals your kitty brings you? Turns out they’re not gifts. They are in fact warnings. And that cute kneading they do on you? Not affection. Your cat is carefully checking your internal organs for weaknesses.
I suggest you take the Is Your Cat Plotting To Kill You Quiz right away. (You don’t have to sign up for anything, just click the “no thanks” in the bottom right hand corner at the end to get your results.) There is an 80% chance my cats are trying to kill me. Uh-oh. (thanks, Robin)